Hair Issues

It's not what you think. This is about Meredith and her anxiety/stress and I debated writing because I worry about receiving unsolicited advice and suggestions etc. But... this blog is to help keep my family up to date and to have memories in writing since I'm crappy at doing so on paper. Here's a synopsis.

Meredith was a nail biter. She was never a thumb sucker, but would bite her nails while watching tv/resting/etc. She stopped not too long ago and I was happy. Then she started twirling her hair. She twirled it when she was focusing on tv, when she was tired, when she was going to bed. It soothed her. It relaxed her. She twirled my hair when she was a baby nursing so I didn't think anything of this... I twirl my hair (don't you?) so I didn't stress. Then the knots started. I had to cut some out, others I could brush out. I went the "brush the knots out without being too easy so she'll see that knots hurt and she'll stop" route and it back fired. :( Here lately she's been pulling the knots out herself... but only when shes sleeping/resting. She never does it during the day - only in her bed. I personally think she started doing this to avoid me brushing them out. If she got them out first, I might be happy?? or at least not have to fuss and brush them out myself?? I don't know. Anyway, after research, I tried punishing (time outs for knots in her bed), I tried bribing (candy/chocolate/small toys), I tried crying, I tried threatening (we're going to cut your princess hair off if you pull knots out!).... and she got even more anxious about us seeing her knots that she started hiding them under her pillow or under her bed. She would immediately start apologizing and trying to "make us happy" (her words), and we felt awful. I was scared. I was frustrated. I was worried. So I tried the ignoring route. That worked the best, but it still happened. :(

I pulled her hair back at night - in braids, in pony tails, in both - but she still managed to either take it out completely or at least pull pieces out to twirl. I put socks and gloves on her hands, but let's face it - she's 3 years old and who wants to sleep with crap on  your hands. She pulled them off. I gave her fringe blankets, I gave her a barbie with long hair and showed her how to twirl that. I showed her how to twirl her nightgown and her sheets... Everything seemed exciting to her, but her hair is what calms her and what she wants.

So... (after more research and confiding in good friends) I found that it's normal, it's a stage, and if she's not eating it (she can't stand hair near her mouth and freaks out if hers is stuck in her chap stick or whatever) then it's probably something she'll figure out/outgrow. I was still worried. Her hair was severely thinning on the left side of her head and she was working her way underneath. I did some more research (my sister is such a huge blessing in this area) and found that new things/changes can cause this - ie: baby brother. So... we went to the doctor. Dr. Stephanie was wonderful and feels that Meredith is 100% normal and growing and thriving. She laughed and laughed at my crazy and bossy girl when she was done with her check up. Specifically because Meredith pointed out that she hadn't checked her tummy and proceeded to lay down and lift her shirt up... this followed by taking off a shoe because she thought the doctor needed to check her foot. :) I love my girl!!!! She agreed with me about not cutting her hair (Meredith was devastated about this idea and has begged us multiple times not to...) and thought that we have done everything she would've suggested... and in the end she felt that Meredith may get worse before she got better - especially since we'll be moving soon, and baby is coming in just a few months... And... suggested we go see a psychologist to be doubly sure we're all doing the right thing for our angel.

So... we'll be calling today to see where to go. She's given us names of those she recommends.  Hopefully we'll be given a technique or an object or an idea or something that will help us deter Meredith from pulling the knots out. She can twirl if she wants to, but I just want her to let me get the knots out - not pull them out herself.

I want to end with this. We are praying about this daily... We are loving on our girl and trying our best to help her not stress or have anxiety about the baby or moving or anything. We are seeking advice from those we trust and asking others to pray that this doesn't get worse. At risk of sounding rude (and please know I'm saying this with kindness and not annoyance), we don't want everyone's  thoughts on this. I know how serious this could become and I'm worried... I certainly don't want to have extra ideas put in my head. (We all know how crazy I am anyway!!!)

And there you go people. Just another day in our world... a world of blessings and craziness. :)

xo,
K