Ramblings

I have a lot on my mind this morning. Random things. And to help me get them all out, I'm writing about them on here. Feel free to make fun of my ramblings. :)

1) I'm selling Arbonne. It's a botanically based, organic (vegan actually) skin care line that's AHHH-MAZING. I never thought I'd be a part of network marketing because I'm easily annoyed by people asking me to host parties etc... but the products are awesome and the business plan is like none other. So, I'm giving it a try. If I've asked you to host a spa event for me and you've be super kind & an awesome friend and said yes, then know it means more than you could ever imagine and know that I'll never ask you to do it again. If I've asked you and you've said no, or you've ignored me... well it's totally fine (I've been there, done that), but know that when I'm making money and my skin looks awesome, I'll be sure to let you know. :) lol. Just kidding!!! (or am I?!) But seriously...

2) My kids are sick. Colds. Meredith is a little congested and sneezy. Micah is snotty, drooly, and a little cranky. Yuck.

3) My childhood friend, Tiffany, is in town for an intensive at Liberty and came over for dinner last night. We spent about 3 hours catching up and laughing about old times. I loved it. I'm trying to talk her into coming over for dinner again on Thursday. :)

4) Our college life group is going well. We have loved getting to know everyone and learning with them. They have started calling me mom - and while it's cute and funny - it's a reminder that I'm old. Yuck.

5) Meredith is going to be a mermaid for Halloween. Micah is going to be a tiger. roarrrr...

6) My friend Brooke went back to work full time this week. Micah and I miss her and Camden. *sniff

7) Meredith will be 4 in a week. 4. 4 years old. When did she grow up? We're having her birthday party at the pumpkin patch this Sunday. :) I'm excited.

8) Preschool has been amazing for Meredith. She comes home singing songs, telling me Bible stories, writing letters, talking about playing on the play ground, tattling on things her friends did... she loves her teachers and learning and the independence it gives her. She LOVES going and asks to go daily. She knows her days of the week now and know that if it's Tuesday or Thursday she gets to go. lol. Bless her heart.

9) I need to deep clean. I did it not too long ago, but I really need to scrub my floors (all of them) and clean my windows... ughhh..

10) I really want to white wash my fireplace. I've been talking about doing it for ages.

11) My yard is covered in leaves. It's super cold this week. It's fall. Andddd I kind of like it a lot. :)

There's a lot more, but Micah is letting it be known that he needs me. :) Have a wonderful day. Oh! And if you want to know more about Arbonne, email me. :) lol

3 Months Old!!!

My sweet boy is 3 months old. He's laughing, "talking", sleeping through the night, huge and is absolutely amazing. Here's a few pics of my chunky monkey. :)

He's starting to find his feet :)

Am I Doing This Right?

Am I doing this right? Am I hugging my kids enough? Am I disciplining enough? Am I too hard on Meredith? Am I too easy on her? Am I playing with them enough? Am I showing enough attention to my husband? Am I doing my job as a stay-at-home-mom well? Am I as good as _________ (insert a wife or mom's name here)? Do I look like I have this under control? These thoughts overwhelm my mind all. the. time.

Then I start justifying my answers with: If I had more money I'd do things differently. If I had family around, I'd do this. If...

So recently in my search for contentment, I'm trying to prioritize & focus. I'm a type A, anal, ocd person & like things done certain ways on certain days etc. I like a clean house and I like clean, fresh laundry, and I like to look and feel put together... But guess what I've learned since having Micah? It doesn't always happen. :)

So instead of feeling frantic and frustrated because my tubs didn't get scrubbed on Friday morning or I didn't get to dust Micah & Meredith's bedroom on Wednesday morning... I'm prioritizing and accomplishing the important things.

Try it. It's liberating. :)

1. Clean Kitchen before bed.
2. Snuggle Micah and Meredith every day.
3. Kiss Billy when he comes home daily.
4. Cook some sort of meal every night during the week.
5. Get kids in bed at the same time so I have time with Billy.
6. Vacuum.
7. Find time for devotions daily.
8. Find time for coffee daily.
9. Drink wine if everything goes wrong. hahaha

While that's just a randomly put together list - it's mostly the true. My house is usually clean. My laundry pile isn't too overwhelming. My family is fed. My kids are loved... those other nitty gritty things can wait til tomorrow... or the next day.

What are your priorities?

Time & Contentment...

Time is such a crazy thing. You rush it. You want more of it. You want it to stop. You want to fast forward. You watch it. It's a constant battle - for me anyway. I want to speed time up until Billy gets home... then I want to freeze time when he's here playing with the kids. I want to speed up the baby phase just a little bit because it's hard, but once Micah is crawling/walking I'm going to wish I could go back in time because that's hard too, lol. I want Meredith to get out of this whiny/not listening phase, but soon enough she will be in school full time and I'll wish I could rewind. I need mommy time... meaning time away, but I don't want to miss out on anything with the kids. Billy and I NEEEED time to ourselves, to work on our marriage/friendship/relationship/us, but finding that time is a lot easier said than done.

But what made me think of this and start typing is the thought that this "time" in our life is so precious, but so frustrating. Life with 2 kids is MUCH easier than I thought it was going to be. Maybe it's the age difference between the kids or maybe it's the fact that I'm not working this time around, or maybe it's the difference in Billy's job... or maybe its a combination of all of that... but whatever it is, it's not that bad. But... it's still trying. and exhausting. and consuming. and overwhelming. and fun. I'm nursing which means leaving Micah isn't easy and it requires planning & prep work... and I'm not willing to leave him over night yet. (That won't happen until I'm done nursing which is probably around the 1 year mark...even though I have friends who think I'm crazy, lol.) It's harder to ask a sitter to watch both kids. It's harder to ask friends to watch both kids. It's harder to plan to leave both kids. Yet, Billy & I both need to get out... be ourselves... remember why we're good together and what makes us happy besides these little beings that consume our lives. So right now I want to fast forward... to a time where that's easier to do.

Another thing that made me start typing is where I'm at in life. I'm discontent and I can't figure out why. I don't want to work full time, outside the home... but I want to be able to afford to go out on dates, go shopping, be spontaneous, go on vacation, etc.. I don't want to be away from my kids, but I seem to need a break here lately... a lot. I don't want to leave Lynchburg, but I'd do most anything to be near family. I don't want to have more kids, but the thought of Micah being my last makes me sad. I don't want my marriage/relationship to Billy to get stale and like that of roommates, but I don't know how to change things at this time in our life. And lastly... I don't want to have a mundane relationship with Christ, but can't find time to study/read/pray more than I do now because every time I try... I hear "mommmmyyyy" or a baby crying.

Man. I have a lot of complaints. :( But that's NOT what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be honest and real and seek wisdom. I want to live life to the fullest and enjoy my kids and family. I want to find joy in the little things and stop seeing the negatives. I want to seek God's will first and allow everything else to fall in to place. I want to enjoy the time I'm given and stop rushing everything. I want time to not be an issue. I want to be content. 

Do you? Are you? How'd you get there?

Being content... now that's a novel idea. :) Pray for me as I seek this in life... :)