Anyway, I find myself doing this to Meredith. I push her to find success, to learn new things, to try new things, to be kind, to be polite, to be funny, to be silly, to be independent... but sometimes I push her too much. Here lately she will ask you if you're sad/mad/happy. If you are sad or mad she'll get upset and reply with "I want to make you happy..." - which I thought was cute until I truly thought about it. I want her to make people happy, but at what cost?
I don't want her to be such a people pleaser that she forgets about making her own self happy - or more importantly - the Lord happy. I don't want her to be such a driven person that she doesn't allow herself to make mistakes. I don't want her to focus on doing things better instead of being content with what she's already done.
I know that I do those things. I like to make people happy and I sometimes put that before my own happiness. I like do be the best at things and I forget to be content with what I've done... and I'm rubbing off my kiddo. Like I said - it's in small increments, but it's happening. [My mom points it out all the time, but I usually shrug her off because she doesn't get it, but she's probably right.]
Today we ran into friends at WalMart and their little girl was riding a toddler bike. Meredith wanted to, too. We took her to the bike section to let her try [she's tried before] and she couldn't get it. She could not grasp how to push the pedals forward with her feet, let alone steer the dang thing, lol. She was so frustrated. [I got a little frustrated too, because if a 2 year old can do it why can't an almost 3 year old?] Then I got home and we ate lunch and she sang silly songs and she told me I was her best fran...and when I put her down for nap I started thinking about how awesome she is... how much I love her and how much joy she brings to my life... and I felt guilty for always wanting her to do more.
I cry all the time here lately about how fast she's growing up, yet I rarely stop to soak up the stage she's in. I expect too much of her at times. While some parents allow their kids to take a treat without saying thank you, I'm the mom that takes the treat away until she says thank you. Some parents chalk up misbehavior to the age, yet I pounce on her when she's even slighty fussy. Why??? Who am I trying to impress??? I know those are necessary things, but I can take stuff to the extreme at times... [and I hate admitting that].
I'm rambling, but these are my thoughts. My beautilful little angel will be 3 in just a few short weeks and I want to STOP making her be more or do more and instead be thankful and content with where she is and what she already knows. She's so smart. She's so funny. She's so silly. She's also the Lords... and He's showing me every day, little by little, what a blessing she really is.
Awesome post! Really honest and made me think how I check the "milestones" to make sure Holden is making them or surpassing them. I saw something recently that almost made me cry. It was reminding us (moms especially) of how fast it goes by. For example, imagine your child's age 10 years from now. Crazy, right?!?! Savoring the stage was what it was called...even though it might be the pea spitting stage (in my case) or whatever!
ReplyDeleteI really am trying to savor the stage... it's hard sometimes, but I am trying to ignore the pile of laundry or the dishes in the sink and focus on what's truly important. :)
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